Mad Moments – 1

 September 2006

The mayor of the city of Al Amarrah has announced that no Multi-national forces (MNFI) will be allowed to set foot in his city. LTC Corviday, pondering this directive at the dinner table the night before his own mission to the vicinity of Al Amarrah, decided he was going to ask his Brit Mil escorts take him right to the city boundary.

He stood up from the dinner table. He straightened his uniform blouse over his thick frame and smoothed his almost nonexistent hair back. He set himself, then, half crouched, hands out to the sides as if poised to pounce, glaring off across the imaginary city.

I’ll stand just outside the city boundary like this, he told us, unnecessarily narrating the action, then …(pause) …  JUMP across the line! he shouted. 

He jumped lightly forward, paused, still crouched, then waved his arms around wildly and wiggled his butt yelling, Nyaa nyaa! Come and get me!

Everyone in the DFAC turned to stare, while we all fell over laughing.

Crowsie jumped back across the imaginary line, out to neutral territory, still crouched at the ready. He leaped back across into the forbidden zone, calling his taunt again. Nyaa nyaa!

Watching this stocky-strong, forty-something colonel performing his nyaa nyaa! butt wiggle in uniform was formidably bizarre. More than one of us was in danger of spewing food across the table we were laughing so hard.

 Crowsie stood up straight again, carefully straightened his uniform blouse, then sat back down with an exaggerated dignity that almost reestablished the authority of his colonel’s insignia.

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