Who Goes There: Anna Lee

Anna Lee, Adminstrative Assistant

Anna Lee is a short little fifty-something fireball from Georgia. Having been in Iraq since forever and being devoted to gossip, she’s the one to go to for any back story. She’s saved the dirt off every major and colonel who’s trailed their laundry through camp, and will share it in the back corner of a bunker if you give her a good reason. Just as fun, she’s got a reliable inside track on at least some of the PSD teams, and will trade that information if your goods are equal to it.

Graced with the peculiarly southern skill of cutting someone dead without offence, Anna Lee has been known to ask colonel’s if they’re as stupid as they look, and to tell one that if he didn’t get out of her office she’d rip his face right off his head. This without consequence. If you’ve got a fairly legitimate grievance, you can count on Anna Lee to stand on your side of the fence with her teeth bared.

If a good looking man is in view, you won’t get between the subject and Anna Lee. She has a disposable husband back home who essentially gets ignored. Her much-loved grown son is fondly kept in close contact. Sadly, she buried another son not long before she first deployed to Iraq. She’ll eventually divorce, but no action happens quickly in Anna Lee’s life unless it’s lip delivered to a deserving man: she’ll take her time.

One of the theories as to why nothing gets done quickly in Anna Lee’s personal or professional life is her ADD. Her stories start in the middle and wander from there, so patience is required to piece together some semblance of order through one’s own creative abilities. Work instructions must be given a minimum of three times; often it’s just easier to sit with her while she completes the request, essentially doing it yourself. How she’s been able to keep a job for so long, no one is sure. Perhaps the majors in charge of her employment are hypnotized by that broad Georgia accent.

Defining actions and characteristics:

  1. A wild, show-stopping laugh that pisses off anyone not laughing at the table with her
  2. A lover of secrets, dramatizing even the lowliest of them in ways that exalt their otherwise forgettable existence
  3. Muddle-headed, drive-you-crazy inefficiency
  4. Insatiable appreciation for the male of the species

Why she stays:

She’s probably not sure what else to do; the small world suits her.

 

[All names have been changed – OS]

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