Who Goes There: Spike Abbot

Spike Abbot – Camp Manager

A rangy Texan with a twenty-hour-a-day work addiction, Spike Abbot runs the camp with deceptively light touch. His rules are reasonable, his decisions are based on common sense, and his unwavering confidence is balanced by a self-aware humor that endears him to every intelligent resident.

Voted sexiest eyes on base, when Spike lowers his head to look at you over the top of his sunglass lenses you might want to be standing in front of an air conditioner fan. Green? Blue? Hazelish brown? Repeatedly stunned senseless as soon as those sexy eyes locked on our own, it took us (women) months to figure out what color Spike’s eyes actuallly are, and in the end we only found out by tag teaming with LTC Corviday. Immune from Spike’s charms, Corviday confirmed the color: blue.

Spike works for a large contracting firm that seems to hire infinitely more creative and competent people than does the greed-bloated KBR colossus. We count ourselves blessed. Our food is fresh, varied, and rarely fried. Our rooms are spotless thanks to Spike’s careful and cheerful Bengali cleaning crew. While KBR laundries can drastically alter the shape of a simple square cotton sheet with whatever bizarre ministrations they apply to innocent cloth, Spike’s laundry crew return even cashmere sweaters in pristine condition.

Even with his inhuman work schedule, Spike is always willing to set aside work for the time it takes for a friend to talk out a problem. He’s had years of first hand experience in dealing with personal difficulties, having a mentally ill wife at home. Sensitive without being sloppy, warm without being invasive, reflective without being ponderous, Spike is a good man to call a friend. As an added bonus, he stands up to brass like they’re equal colleagues, fighting them to the mat if need be. Go get ‘em, Spike.

Defining actions and characteristics:

  1. Sexiest eyes on base
  2. Tosses small stones over t-walls to hit residents on the head
  3. Requires residents to do push-ups when they lock themselves out of their rooms
  4. Requires less than three hours of sleep in any twenty-four hour period
  5. Eats more than the six of us combined and never gains an ounce

Why he stays:

Because he makes good money doing a job he’s good at and enjoys, and the small, intense world suits him. He freely admits an adrenaline addiction.

[All names have been changed – OS]

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